Same Stuff, Different Place

Once again, it has been a while since I wrote, but it is what it is. I really only write on this one when I have something on my mind or something that I feel definitely needs to be said. So here it goes.

The education world is completely full of it. As you know, I started at a new school this year in my home state of Colorado. And it had me very excited. New place, new challenges, a school that really seemed to have its stuff together and be moving in the right direction. The key word in all of this is seemed. This school, which shall remain nameless, and the district as a whole seems to have missed the boat somewhere between what they have said they want to do, and what they are actually doing.

At my interview, and all throughout orientation, I heard all about the things I would need to learn how to do. I was excited at the challenge. Daily objectives and demonstrations that they have learned what was taught. Strategies to keep all kids involved in the learning process, not just the eager ones. And there is still a decent amount of that. They really appeared to be student centered. Then, last week, the district implemented these benchmark standardized assessments in pretty much every single class, with few exceptions. I'm going, slow down here. These are happening how often? Every 5 weeks? What's the deal? How do I cover everything you tell me I have to cover on this curriculum map in just 5 weeks?

So much for ensuring student learning. So much for student centered instruction. So much for innovative teaching practices. This is pretty much just "shock and awe" but with standardized tests. In a district that claims to go against the concept of teaching to the test, we have been placed in a system that basically demands that all you do is teach to the test. Should I have expected anything else? Probably not. I probably should have expected that the school wouldn't be all they said they were, because it was just too good to be true.

It's weird, because I almost feel betrayed by this whole thing. I feel like I was led to believe something about this school and this district, and had all those pictures and things that were painted for me very unceremoniously stripped away. I know that testing is the reality of modern education in America, but this is absolutely ridiculous. Colorado gives their CSAPs in February or March or something. After 4 of these assessment sets, which take up most of the week, how much do you think these kids are going to care about going through another full week of testing? I'd give you a hint, but you probably don't need it.

I spent most of this whole week just being infuriated by all of this, and it's led me to a rather frightening possibility. If this is the reality of education today, constant testing and blatantly teaching to the test, I'm not certain I want to be a part of education anymore. I don't know. Maybe I just need to find a place that is already doing well enough that they don't have to constantly worry about testing every single stinking month. Maybe I need to just find a charter school, or a private school. Maybe I need a year or two off. Maybe I'm just not fully cut out to be a teacher in the modern day picture of education. I don't know. But I had more clarity and more desire in New Mexico, and that is saying something. Who knows. In the mean time, I just have to keep pushing along and do my best to make as much of a difference as I'm permitted to make.